Poets Cove

Dear Reader:

This morning I am sitting in a cafe in Poets Cove drinking an absolutely delicious sugar-free, fat-free vanilla latte. I’ve just finished the Prologue and First Chapter of the book “Something Blue” by Emily Giffin. Life is pretty grand.

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately in regard to my life and where it’s going. Marriage is difficult and thrilling and fulfilling all at the same time. There are things I would like to accomplish that are put on hold because well, I have to considerhis needs. Before marriage, I could do whatever I wanted. Things were mine. Now everything, even myself, is ours. You think you’re prepared for this change because you’ve been with this person for 3 years and there couldn’t possibly be anymore surprises, but realistically I don’t think anyone can prepare for the shift in mindset that occurs once you commit forever. This isn’t to say that I’m unhappy. I’m happy every morning, every night, and we laugh and play all day long. Of course, if you know me well, waking me up during a nap causes a touch of grouchiness as he has experienced more than a few times. 🙂 Overall we are in bliss though.

Anyway, the trouble I’m having is combining our purposes and balancing my own individual needs with his. Is there a trick? Am I missing something?  Personally, I don’t want to be the wifey that follows the hubby around wherever he dictates. I want to be successful in my own right with him. Does that make sense? Please don’t assume he controls my life either. We’re a team. We’re both on the same page, and of course we have discussed this sort of issue together. I wouldn’t be writing about it online had we not. Honestly, once this immigration process is complete and I am able to work a full time job with more responsibility I will feel a greater sense of self. I will have a positive cash flow that will help contribute to our family. That’s what I think anyway. Hopefully that’s true. Did any of you go through this when you were newly married? Am I crazy?

Poets Cove is pretty much in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by mountains, where boats are the only form of transportation. Chad Krueger from Nickleback was here yesterday having dinner. Seals swim and play next to the dock and starfish are stuck to the rocks in large quantities. Mainly purple starfish, my favorite color. Idyllic is an understatement. There is a charming restaurant with decadent food, a spa next door for the wives who want “mani/pedis” and the men who indulge in massages. Up the hill is a pool and hot tub for kids to play in. The adults call it the Piddle Pool. You get the idea… I could spend weeks here.

Always,

Poets Cove taken with my phone

Poets Cove taken with my phone

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7 Comments

Filed under Blog Updates, Marital Conditioning, Travel

7 responses to “Poets Cove

  1. Chika

    Dolly, I noticed you’re reading Something Blue. Have you read the previous book to that one, Something Borrowed?? If you like this one, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the previous one too!

  2. Hey Chika-

    I haven’t read Something Borrowed. I picked up Something Blue in a book exchange today and am loving every minute. I’ll definitely be reading Something Borrowed!!

  3. Aly

    That is 100% normal for newlywed independent women. And even now, almost 2 years into the marriage and I still struggle with that sometimes. His career must come first since he is a pastor and we will have to move wherever the Bishop moves him, so essentially, I will be following him where he goes. It was a hard idea to wrap my mind around, but then I realized that my decision to totally support him makes me just as strong–because it was a decision, not mandatory. I still have a full-time job, and even a volunteer job so I am bringing money in also- and as soon as I got this job I, like you said, gained more a sense of self and like I was contributing. It will become easier, I super promise. If you ever want to talk, send me a message! I’ve been there…and still feel like a newlywed often (I guess I am, though, huh? hahah) Love the updates and pictures! and REALLY love that you’re so happy. 🙂

  4. Kristie

    I’ve read both… they’re super cute! I’m reading her third book, “Love the one you’re with”. It’s great so far. As far as being newly married, we went though the same thing, especially since we also had the immigration situation to deal with. It adds alot of stress on a new marriage. Just be strong, communicate to each other, listen, be compassionate and enjoy each other. Most of all, don’t let other’s opinions of “how you should be doing things” affect you. It’s your life together to create, no one elses!

  5. Such good advice you guys! Thank you so much!!

  6. Dolly-
    I completely understand where you’re coming from . Marriage is the most amazing feeling but the initial groove of blending the 2 of your independent lives together is challenging.

    I think once you are working you will feel a lot better. You just gotta do things for you when Christopher is doing his thing. Even if you can’t get work now…. surround yourself with support and talk to friends and family a lot. It’s really tough not working when you feel you want to contribute…so maybe you can do other things like around the house or even just a hobby you can feel good about outside the house.

    I know what you’re going through…. being first married is a bit of an adjustment, and I don’t think theres anything wrong with voicing that and trying to get some advice on working through things.

    You’re a LOT like me.. and you’ll do fine. I hope all is well and you are enjoying Vancouver.

    Love,
    Lauren

  7. I really want to check out those books they sound great! And it is crazy and yet so understandable that marriage would be that way. The mindset thing is definitely a different factor, when we (me & my boo 😉 talk about marriage it’s always such a fun and exciting conversation but in the past- when the conversation gets too serious- I get a “little” nervous knowing how big a commitment it is. I’m not married but I do think you can/should always have your “me” time and even little things that you do just for you/activities or on your own/accomplishments that keeps things fresh and busy so you are continuously missing one another- am I making sense? haha.

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